“Hello lads and lasses. This is The Bloody Colonel speaking from my mausoleum in the abandoned barracks outside of London.
It’s a genuine honor to be able to attend your festival and meet new vic- ER I mean people/recruits. Hear about me life both as a chariot driver/warrior for Queen Boudicca of the Iseni during Rome’s occupation of England, once known as Britannica,how I became a feral vampire, and life as a Royal British Army soldier during Desert Storm.
You can see my gear, my memorabilia, and my war trophies. You can look at my gear but please do not touch, is all I ask.
Oh yes young ones, have your face painted up as a Celt Warrior or a British SAS commando. You will not leave my table without a gift.
Looking forward to our meeting. Who knows? I might invite you to join me in a cup of bloo- I mean tea.
See you soon. I’m back to training. Huzza
h! “
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